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Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
2:45 am - the coolest moment

the one day i am motivaed to actually pay attention and update this journal of mine, my computer decides not to cooperate. Where's the teamwork?! frustrating. but oh well i am over it because it is late. it's so weird to be that i am sitting at the computer right now typing in this journal. i honestly haven't done this in forever.  since personal goals have been set to attempt to update weekly in this journal of mine i am curious to see how long i can consistenly write in my journal. i don't mind writing in it, infact the only reason why i stopped writing in it was because of the drama. but now that i am drama free perhaps i shall be more inclined to write more often.

right now i am anxious. my whole life is filled with anxiety and anticipation for the future.  i want to run away from it all and just  relax. i want to go and travel, see things i've never seen before but have dreamed of. a twinge of  jealously hits me when i think about traveling. simply because i know it is not going to be easy for me to do.why?  because i am a hispanic female. according to family rules females like me do not travel alone, we travel in bunches and usually we have to have a younger sibling tag along. sucky. the unfairness of it all only makes me want to run away even more. i want to run away with my dog and travis right now. that would make me happy. not to say that i am not happy right now, because i am. i've finally managed to let go of andy and although it's hard i know it's the right thing to do. I've found travis much sooner than i expected to find anyone, it's the surprise situation that is unfolding beautifully. with time i know everything is going to change, i just hope i am ready for all of it.  

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Saturday, August 30th, 2003
12:04 am - all summer
all summer long has been great.
1. i bought my new car...vw's rock
2. i can manage work, school, partying and andy-lee all at the same time
3. one year with a guy is good
4. Osvy and i are cool
5. i love Ryan and dee-dee
6. i will be leaving in one semester
7. there's more but i am too busy to do more

Dreams go disco....i can't wait!!!

current mood: ecstatic

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Sunday, April 13th, 2003
11:04 am - Sat. Nite
saturday night was so much fun!
I love my cute party dress and blazer. Everyone loved it too. I was not hung over yesturday morning which is a huge surprise but it's all good.
I made so many friends on saturday nite i can't count.
I danced with so many guys and girls my feet still hurt today.
I was climbing on a balcony last night in my cute dress.
I got to see my MONAAAAAAAAAAAA.((((Happy)))))
I love parties!!!!
apples
2 more days until THE APPLES!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

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Thursday, March 13th, 2003
5:12 pm - Oh the things we do
I am so proud of myself. I have been able to stick to several important goals and now i feel somewhat accomplished. Only somewhat because there is still a lot left to do.
1. i am proud of myself for forcing myself to do the L.A. marathon...26.2 miles of pride for me!
2. I am proud of myself because i have lost weight and kept it off.
3. I am proud of myself because i have been so active and busy in war protests. Peace
....i am proud because i am happy.

I've had a long two weeks. Time hasn't really stopped for me..today is the first day i have a afternoon off. I've been doing work, school, yoga, soccer and it has drained me. however i enjoy having my time filled. This cycle is so different from last year. I like it. I have a few certain vices that i need to gain control of...but i am not worried. I have the best support so i know i'll end up in the clear. I've been enjoying work lately. It's totally draining but i feel so good about myself when i leave. I can totally let go and be creative...i think that's why i feel so cleansed when i leave work.
I had a wonderful visit with MONA BOLOGNA this weekend. Time spent with a dear friend flies by. We were so cheeky and cute at lunch. Our haircuts are twins too. Mona is coming along with me to a protest this week, it's out in L.A. there should be some good vibes there. Anyway Instead of wasting my time on this computer i am off to do better things for myself.

current mood: accomplished

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Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
12:28 am - Hi to me
Wow. I feel like i have been going non-stop since the last time i wrote. So much has happened i can't even remember all of it. I wish i could write a short recap so i could cherish all the fun things that have happened but oh well. i do know that Valentines day was wonderful!!! San francisco with Andy was a blast. I'm saving the juicy details and pictures of that trip for a memory entry.

Oh yeah and what's up with the Papa's Fritas on the Dentyne ice gum commercial and Apples in Stereo songs on the Kohls commercials!!! CRAZZZZY

Right now i am happy. Even though most of my weekend was spent indoors taking care of responsibilities i am still happy. I have so much inside but i don't have a lot to write about because i am happy. that's a good thing. I have nothing to bitch about except the occasional family/mother freak out. I'm living in a Zombie world where day after day i am submerged in wonderful feelings that keep me from stressing about anything. I am so in love.

Sarah and Andy Convo from tonight:
RedLipGloss10: so are you going to bed?
sPiDeY219: yea pretty soon
RedLipGloss10: k
sPiDeY219: im gonna go to bed now babe
RedLipGloss10: ok me too
sPiDeY219: thank you for your help
RedLipGloss10: your welcome
sPiDeY219: i love you
RedLipGloss10: i love you too
RedLipGloss10: tonight was fun
sPiDeY219: yea
sPiDeY219: i'll see you tommorow at 7:30?
RedLipGloss10: well then i will see you tomarrow morning at 7:30
RedLipGloss10: haha
sPiDeY219: jinx
RedLipGloss10: stop copying me
RedLipGloss10: that's twice tonight
sPiDeY219: great mind's think alike
RedLipGloss10: i know
RedLipGloss10: haha
RedLipGloss10: i love you..get some rest
sPiDeY219: you too
sPiDeY219: i love you
RedLipGloss10: good nite!
sPiDeY219: good night
RedLipGloss10: bye
sPiDeY219: bye

this is my zombie land.

current mood: La La

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Monday, December 30th, 2002
2:25 am - Love
I have a horrible throat infection right now. When i have my voice i sound like a man. So at a party last night some stupid stupid stupid girl asked me why my voice sounded like a man...i sarcastically told her: "because i am taking lots of steroids and male hormones. She actually believed me! How stupid is she. I love that!!!! i love it!
I love mona cause we can pull pranks together and the other night was just so much fun.
I love tims obsession with Cosmo quizzes when he is drunk.
I also love how some people are so ignorant and enjoy playing the victim in every situation. Let's face it. High maintenance friends blow. You blow. The words inconvenience never left my mouth. However someone placed them there. What perfect victim behavior. Never once did you think about how you dissapointed me but instead immediately jumped to boast and gloat about how everyone is so immature compared to you and how people can't accept that you have moved on. Such a high pedestool i wonder how much it will hurt when you fall. Cause you will and don't be so naive to think you won't. So here is my opportunity to brag about my recent maturity that makes me so much better than you..but guess what i'm not going to. You know why? Because in some aspects of the situation i agree with you. I was wrong and i could've tried harder. The same stands for you! Can you believe that! You see you never gave me the opportunity to say that. I guess maturity forgot to teach you that one huh? You called me up and accused me before Any of this could be discussed. You played your best role...the victim. So go cry cause i can imagine what you've said and who you've cried to; but i don't really care cause i am happy. Just remember i called you the next day, like i said i would. I invited you out. It had to start again somewhere right, we had to talk and you told me to call you when i had the time..so i did. But apparently you didn't have the time or you didn't want to make some. That's fine Just remember i did what i said i would. I called.

Anyway that's for you sylvia. Enjoy.

I also love my vintage record player! The best christmas gift ever!

Tonight was fun. I AM SO LUCKY to have such a great guy. Andy makes everything so much better. Our quality time together tonight was great. he is such a good listener and opens up my eyes to things i normally wouldn't see because i am so stubborn. Gosh he is awesome.
I can't wait to hang out with osvaldo. He called me today, so i think tomarrow afternoon we are going to do some lunch.

Goodnite!

current mood: hopeful

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Monday, November 4th, 2002
9:44 pm - Weekend
Thursday: Halloween, got drunk, had fun

Friday: got drunk, went to the coolest new venue ever! haha actually not really it's just a warehouse named JUVEEE. Anyway...i saw THE FLASH EXPRESS there...soo good.

Saturday: Rolling Stones. Another historic and memorable night with the Stones...3RD TIME!

Sunday: ex boyfriend envy cause i look so nice and movie with andy. Oh yes and and a reminder that some friends are so vain...yuck yuck yuck...why is it always about her..i thought college would make her grow up...it's done the opposite
Today: recover

excited for tomorrow cause The band has a show at the garage with ....dun dunn dun..drumrolll.....THE FLASH EXPRESS! yippee
night

current mood: high

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Saturday, October 26th, 2002
2:36 pm - Boo-Ahhh That's what sex is....
So, I need to make new girlfriends. I've got some but they don't exactly approve of my smoking, drinking etc lifestyle. Infact, they just give me shit about it, figures since they are soccer players. I still talk with Mona a lot but i rarely see her, and sylvie is up in Santa Barbara so that's just that. Nat, Trini, and Yunice are fun but whenever i see them i see the boys and yeah...i need girlfriends i already have enough boy-friends. I am going to work on this!
The show on Monday was good, However Tuesday and Wednesday were absolutely PHENOMENAL. Bluebird was good, The Division of Laura Lee rocked, and the Locusts are baffling...but none of them compare to the INC. Their set was soooooo good. soooooooo good. Thomas, Raul, Phil, Andy, and I danced and danced. The Best two shows i have been to this year...they even top the yeah yeah yeahs
I will forever remember Dennis' gorgeous face as he waltzed by dancing with the microphone. <3
Tonight is Knotts Scary Farm and now i gotta go buy a warm, pretty sweater for tonight.

current mood: excited

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Friday, October 18th, 2002
11:21 pm - Beau-tee-full
So much happens in between the time i write and the time i do not write. i've had a load i mean a load of tests for school. Yuck, but i've had a lot of fun lately too. Last weekend i went to the "BEAUTY BAR" out on hollywood blvd. Phil got me in cause he's got the connections. Andy used Tommy Machine Guns Bro's I.D. but he didnt even need it anyway. I had so much fun. Now for being called the "beauty bar" there are not as many beautiful people as i had hoped there would be. I guess it's just more of a exclusive group of people bar. However there were the hippest, rockin, MOD people there, some snobby and some cool. We did see several celebs...I made sure i was not too drunk, cause i wanted to remember the evening. So that was a fun saturday nite. THANK YOU Phil
Then on Weds. Andy and I went to go see THEMSELVES play, what a good fuckin show. A.J. and MO-HO were there, but we didnt hang out with them for too long, which was nice cause i can't handle MO-HO after awhile. I am so tired tonight, this past week has been exhausting. I'm excited for tomarrow and next week. I have a date with Andy tomarrow. Today is our 2 month and i am happy.
Next week: 3 shows in a row!!! Monday: the touch, Tues: INC, Weds: INC ahahhh Inc two days in a row, gosh i am excited. I'm keeping my fingers crossed cause we may just may get backstage for the glasshouse show. HELLO DENNIS!!!! Okay iam bored of this already.

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002
4:04 pm - You Ain't a baby no more
I have decided it is going to be my personal goal to go to the library much more often.

current mood: happy

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Monday, September 30th, 2002
12:15 pm - the Bigger the Better
I made money this weekend. Free Trip, Easy Money, and water. This weekend was fun. It's nice to know that people miss you when you are gone. Even though i was only away for a weekend, i was missed, that makes me feel good. You know your loved, and you know your worth something. It was nice to come back and visit with my mom, chino and Andy.
I want the real thing. Cause if not,you suck. Most of you do anyway haha fake fake fake uh uh uh. I want my car keys so i can go buy my hair dye but nooo they are missing. I should go look for them.

current mood: content

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Thursday, September 26th, 2002
12:56 am - The way you walk
yesturday and today...remarkable. Andy makes everything so much better and so much more alive. I am more alive. I am going to go visit jacob in LA soon yay. We discussed it tonight and he said he would show me around his apartment and campus. yipee. College is fun. I wanna see Karen-o perform again. She is so hot and awesome. Yesturday we went to BJ's in Brea to celebrate Phils 24th birthday. Phil is so awesome and Roman has to be the funniest guy ever. Pazookis and free drinks work for me. Everyone was so drunk..some funny shit happened. Memories forever. Yesturday made me realize how awesome my friends are. i am a princess.

current mood: Karen-0

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Sunday, September 15th, 2002
2:07 am
Summer came and Summer went and i forgot about live journal. Where'd i leave off...the world cup kicked ass. Fun stuff. The band up my street i discovered them...they are The Touch. They rock...they rock so freakin hard. A nice mix of the hives,Inc, Early Who and to Tone that all down a little touch of the Strokes. I discovered my boyfriend too, Andy. He's wonderful. He's myy college band buddy. College has been interesting. It's been fun. i already had my first set of midterms.. yipee..so far i've done good. School is easy and the atmosphere is a nice change from a private stuffy girls school. Haha Infact i don't even hang out with girls at school. I hang out with guys. what a nice change...Change is good.
So i went to the beach tonight with Andy, John and Trin. haha We ate at Rubys and drank on the beach. I love having older friends. 24/7 treatment for my alcoholic needs. Woooo wooo John Spencer and the yeah yeah yeahs next wed baby!! let the couuntdown begin!

current mood: amused

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Sunday, June 16th, 2002
2:21 pm - USA
Tonight is the big game. Mexico plays USA in the world cup quarter finals. Whoever wins will go on and whoever loses will go home. Ahhh so hard to decide who i want to win...My roots or the country of my birth. I am leaning more towards the US. Anyway there's a big soccer party tonight at my grandmas house in Diamond bar. You are all invited to come to watch the game with us. If not make sure you watch it on your own. 11:30 pm on the spanish channel 34 univison. gEEZ I LOVE WORLD CUP.

current mood: excited

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Thursday, June 13th, 2002
12:00 am - YES YES YES!
Paraguay made it to the quarter finals for world cup!! I am so excited. Mona you understand how a soccer uniform makes almost any world cup player hot. Something about soccer boys, they are just cuter than the rest. Don't believe me...look at the hotness, imagine him in a cute black sweater and nice diesel jeans. WOW



hot soccer boy


current mood: chipper

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Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
2:16 am - World Cup

I am staying up all night watching soccer games. I have nothing better to
do between games but write in my live journal. This past week has been crazy. Too much to do and too little time to do it. I got a job. I am going to be working at a Bell Memorial preschool right by my house. 7-10 year old kids. haha Yipee. So i have decided that i need to go discover the band up my street. They want me to discover them. I am going to the noise rachet show on saturday. Char you should come with me. Noise Rachet and the beautiful mistake.
I love soccer players.

current mood: awake

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Thursday, June 6th, 2002
11:25 pm - Queen
Today i was treated like a queen. The occasion being my commencement from high school. My uncle wanted to spend the day with me and he spoiled me. We went to the movies and saw THE SUM OF ALL FEARS. It was good but it dragged a bit in the middle, however the whole nuclear bomb thing scared the shit out of me. After the movies we went shopping, it was fun i let him help me pick out an entire outfit. I got the jacket, the pants, the shirt, and shoes. As if the shopping and movies were not enough, he took me out to eat Japanese food. It was so good, the restaurant was really pretty. Then i went home and we chilled out some more just talked and before he left, he slipped me some cash. He treated me like a Queen. I am so lucky.
The day gets better i got to speak to C.P. boy, that was fun. It's a tease but he is still really nice. Now i get to indulge in a good world cup soccer game.

current mood: satisfied

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Saturday, June 1st, 2002
11:24 pm - Today
I graduated from High School this morning,i had so much fun this afternoon and evening. i'm in cheery moods.

i am really beginning to hate live journal, it has become annoying.

david just go buy your freakin vintage jeans or shirts or whatever, you write about them every time, just go freakin get them already

current mood: cheerful

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Monday, May 27th, 2002
10:14 pm - numbness
I don't even know how to start writing about this afternoon. So i am just gonna tell it. It's late afternoon my mom my sister and i are going to visit my aunt's house. We were all in a good mood, we ring the the doorbell and my aunt comes running outside screaming and crying..she goes directly into my mom's arms. She proceeds to tell my mom something and then my mom screams, cries and falls on the floor crying. I freaked out, i help my mom up we go inside and i keep asking "what's going on" "what happened?"
Now before i explain what happened lemme explain who it revolves around. My mom and aunt's best friend from college...Loreta...she's like an aunt to me and her daughters Natalie and Rachel are like cousins. Unfortunately because Loreta lives far, and her huusband is a jerk we rarely see Loreta or her kids.
So back to me being anxious to know what happened. Neither my aunt or mom could speak so my uncle tells me that Rachel died today. At 7:00 a.m. this morning, her and 2 friends went off the side of the 15 freeway in Corona, 15 minutes from their home. The went through a fence, flew up in the air, and then the front end of their truck went right into the wall of the Temezcal Wash. The died instantly. No one knows how they lost control, but they were going speedlimit and they just glided off the freeway. They were on their way back from the Mira Mesa Topgun soccer tournament. It was early in the morning, and the driver had to be home early cause she had work. The police think the driver fell asleep at the wheel, they are investigating their alcohol level too. No one knows if the girls were partying the nite before. I just hope they find no alcohol, it would kill Loreta if they fouund some in Rachel's system. Rachel wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
We spent the whole evening down at Loreta's house, it was so sad to see the news coverage and Loreta. It's so sad, Rachel was going to graduate in 2 weeks, she was 17. All this was hard in itself but it brought back that whole sadness with Monika and her accident. I am suppossed to be studying for finals right now but i can't. I need to study for finals but How can i?..Rachel and Loreta are on my mind. I am having the hardest time trying to grasp this whole thing. Life comes and it goes in a flash. I guess Rachel and Paul (her dad) got into a fight before she left for her soccer tournament. Neither of them expected that their last words would be words of anger. Knowing that has got me thinking. I've had huge fights with my mom or dad and left the house pissed off. You never think something like this could happen to you, but it can. I guess it's made me realize how lucky i am and how i shouldn't put important things off for later. Cause there may not be one. I've cried so much today i feel numb. Why does shit like this have to happen. I dont' get it, but i guess it's not my job to get it.
I don''t care if people read this and think this is a dramatic cry for attention. It's helping me, writing this all out, it clears my head a bit. Right now what people think is the last of my worries. So screw you heartless bastards out there.

current mood: sad

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Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
5:23 pm - 3 more days till freedom
that's it...3 more days of school left. Tomarrow is my last block schedule EVER!! ahhh yes..i still have finals but i only have to take 4..so that's nice. This whole graduation thing is crazy, i feel like i'm not prepared. Like i am forgetting to do something. You know what i can't wait for?? I can't wait till i have my diploma in my hand....and then i wanna go over to this Bitch teacher at my school and tell her she sux. Just express to her face the hatred i have towards her. I can't wait for that! I am so ready for college.
So last nite i talked to Doug, it was very nice. We briefly discussed our prom nite kiss. I wanted to talk a little bit more about how we both feel, cause yeah i think we both like each other but i was sooo tired and i needed to get to bed. Oh well i am sure we'll talk more about it tonite.
Oh yeah how nice am i...i gave my Rolling Stones ticket away to my uncle today. I'm sad but it would just suck hardcore if my uncle didn't go.

current mood: happy

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